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  • Writer's pictureSherri Elliott-Yeary

Sensual Encounters

According to The Hite Report for Women, around 30 percent of women can climax regularly through sexual intercourse alone, but approximately 80 percent can manage tit regularly through masturbation.

According to the Kinsey Institute, only 23 percent of younger women regularly experience orgasm, but by the time they get past the age of thirty, approximately 90 percent of them will be able to achieve orgasm either through intercourse or masturbation.

More interesting statistics:

· The average female orgasm lasts for twenty-one seconds longer than the average male’s.

· A small survey showed that 12 percent of women who had yet to experience orgasm, 6 percent of them managed to do so after they received formal or informal training.

· Women discover masturbation at a much older age than men.

· Only three percent of women can fantasize to orgasm.

· Lesbians spend literally hours more on each other’s bodies during lovemaking compared to heterosexuals.

· Nearly 40 percent of women report having a lesbian experience at some [point in their life and over 77 percent who have not been with a woman would like to try it!

For the ladies that have fantasized about being with another woman, I can honestly say the pleasure of kissing another woman’s delicious and juicy lips is unforgettable. If you enjoy the touch, scent or feel of another woman this does not automatically make you a lesbian. What it means to me is you are attracted to the energy of the other woman and it is natural and normal to want to explore your sexuality.

Do not worry if you find yourself equally attracted to women as you are to men. U.S. sex researchers Masters and Johnson found that there is a group of men and women who are genuinely attracted to either sex and that these individuals also find it normal and natural to fall in love with either men or women. Bi-sexuality or bi-curious is absolutely normal and for me essential to honoring myself sexually.

According to a 2015 study threesomes are men’s third most popular fantasy – following voyeurism and specific fetishes (e.g. feet). On women’s list, a threesome ranks 13th. The top three most common female fantasies? Public sex, getting it on with their current partner exclusively, and relishing their submissive side. But there’s a wide gap between thinking about threesomes and actually having them. Despite what you might have gleaned from the Internet, porn, or rumors you heard in college, the percentage of heterosexual men and women who say they’ve had a threesome is less than 10 percent.

Threesomes can be awesome, and attempting one doesn’t necessarily mean you are courting catastrophe in your relationship. But since not just two but three individual’s fantasies and feelings are involved – plus the dynamics of the couple – there are plenty of opportunities for things to get weird and possibly go wrong.

So you need ground rules to ensure you honor all three of you as a threesome has the potential to change a relationship forever. If you are vested in trying a threesome, I personally recommend you hire the other partner so you are able to establish clear rules, boundaries and expectations. Clarifying why you want to have a threesome not only helps you find the right person, but it can help you feel more grounded going into the endeavor – thus less likely to feel badly if things don’t pan out as you had hoped.

Have a safe word – and exit strategy. It should go without saying that anyone involved in a threesome or group sex has the right to stop at any time, for whatever reason. To make it easier for everyone, the couple and third person must have a safe word as well as a plan for what to do if things get too weird!

Be safe – avoid bringing a total stranger into your home (try a hotel at first in that case) to not having a means of getting out of a situation gone wrong, there are plenty of ways threesomes can backfire. Don’t add to the potential upset by overlooking potential future safety hazards like when you are done how do you get them out of YOUR house!

The takeaway:

Make sure you’re respecting the emotions, boundaries, and bodies of anyone who agrees to join you, and prepare yourself got the likelihood that things between you and your partner may never be the same again (good or bad). Embrace the fact that this experience could mean things actually change for the better – especially if you go about your threesome(s) mindfully.

For my husband and I when I introduced the idea of a threesome to him, at first he was excited and then somewhat nervous about how we would go about the experience while honoring each other. We chose to hire our partner and set clear boundaries in advance of our threesome. This allowed us to both relax and enjoy our new partner while respecting each other.

I dedicate this blog to my amazing partner and husband who participates with me in exploring our sexuality together!

Live with joy & passion! Zee

#SelfLove #SexwithHusband

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