• Sherri Elliott-Yeary

Has Your Friendship Become an Emotional Affair?

The Slippery Slope


In the ever-increasing crisis of infidelity, platonic friendships and workplace relationships are turning into emotional affairs, usually gradually, often without premeditation. Parties cross boundaries of emotional; intimacy, sharing intimate information with a friend that is usually appropriately the exclusive territory of a husband, wife, or partner has taken the first step into the slippery slope leading to emotional and eventually sexual infidelity. Even if the infidelity is “only” emotional, it often leads to a double life of deception and sexuality, threatening a once secure relationship.

If you recognize that your friendship or your partner’s may be in the danger zone of too much emotional intimacy, use this awareness to address concerns about your relationship. The quiz below will help you see where you stand.


Quiz: Has Your Friendship Become an Emotional Affair?

Directions: Circle YES or NO next to each statement.

1. Do you confide more to your friend than to your partner about how your day went? Yes/No


2. Do you discuss negative feelings or intimate details about your relationship with your friend but not with your partner? Yes/No


3. Are you open with your partner about the extent of your involvement with your friend? Yes/No


4. Would you feel comfortable if your partner heard the conversations between yourself and your friend? Yes/No


5. Would you feel comfortable if you partner saw a recording of your meeting? Yes/No


6. Are you aware of sexual tension and or are you attracted to your friend? Yes/No


7. Do you and your friends touch differently when you’re alone than in front of others? Yes/No


8. Are you in love with your friend? Yes/No


9. Do you take extra care of how you look when you know you are going to see your friend? Yes or No

Scoring key:


You get one point for every YES to questions 1, 2, 6, 7, 8, 9 and one point for each no to questions 3, 4, 5.

· If you scored near 0 to 2, this is a platonic friendship

· If you scored 3 to 6, you may not be just “friends”

· If you scored 7 to 9, you are involved in an emotional affair.


Live with joy and passion,



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