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  • Writer's pictureSherri Elliott-Yeary

What Is Edging and Can It Give Me Better Orgasms?

Ordinary, run-of-the-mill orgasms are great. What if there was a better way to give yourself the mother of all orgasms, while also making his orgasm even better?

Yeah, we thought this might pique your interest.

The good news is that such a thing exists. All you have to do is practice this little sex move called edging. Never heard of it. Let me fill you in.

What is edging?

If you have tried to delay gratification just long enough for your desire to grow so fierce you feel like you are going to burst, then you have already experienced the concept behind edging. Put merely, edging is when you bring yourself or your partner close to orgasm, back off before you reach orgasm, and then build back up the sexual energy to approach the orgasm again. Edging is one of the many, oh-so surprising ways of enhancing a person’s orgasm and sexy time experience.

It's also a lot like being on a rollercoaster ride. Think of the orgasm as the end of the journey: You slowly take the coaster car up toward the top of the hill, but then you come back down before you get there. Repeat this process a few more times until you want to climax — AKA finished your ride.

Why does edging feel so good?

Denying yourself a cookie until your work is complete feels like a well-earned reward once you have it. The pleasure you'll experience from edging can be just as psychological, but there's also a primary physical reason for why it's so damn awesome.

There is increased blood flow into the pelvic area when you stop orgasm and continue stimulation. When we think of blood flow, we usually think of a male erection. But women have ‘erections' of their clitoral organ, and edging creates a more robust erection for both men and women.

Can you try edging on yourself?

You wouldn't serve a meal to party guests without sampling it first, right? The best way to figure out what works for you is by trying out the edging technique during masturbation.

Women can edge by varying sensations instead of falling into a rhythmic pattern of movement. So if you typically masturbate with your fingers and prefer slow, rhythmic strokes along your clitoris, start off that way, then mix it up with faster strokes or circular motions around your clitoris. Love vibrators? Experiment with different speeds or invest in a sex toy that wouldn't ordinarily capture your attention or imagination.

To totally embrace edging, leave yourself wanting more by masturbating for a few minutes, stopping, and attempting to distract yourself by taking on another task before going back to the deed. The more excitement you build, the more powerful your orgasm.

How can you try the edging technique on your partner?

Once you've tried edging on yourself, if you're ready to experiment with your partner, then the first step is the most important one: communicate.

You don’t want to confuse your partner and make them wonder why it is taking you extra time to reach orgasm. Be open about your desire to edge. It’s a hot, sexual practice that a couple can enjoy together.

A few ways to get started: You could playfully push your partner aside when you get close to orgasm or turn the attention onto them for a moment. If there's anything you are nervous about, like areas you do not want to be touched, you need to establish those boundaries beforehand. Otherwise, take turns playing with different techniques to bring yourself or your partner to orgasm.

What are some edging techniques?

When it comes to specific edging techniques, the sky is the limit. What's best for you and your partner depends on your manual, oral, and penetration preferences. However, you need to authentically share with your partner what you mean by saying, “green light or red light" approach is a great place to start.

When you come close to orgasm, and when you stop touching altogether — red light. Allow the sexual energy to calm down a bit before starting again — green light. You can also use the "green light, yellow light" approach. When you come close to orgasm, slowly back off by touching other parts of the body in a slow and controlled manner. You are still holding the sexual energy, and it’s just being diverted until you are ready to get back to orgasm town.

One thing you shouldn't do - rush yourself or your partner. Edging is all about relaxation and focusing on pleasure and being in the moment.

Depending on the context of the day, or your life, you may come to orgasm in two minutes, or it could take 45 minutes. What chases the pleasure away is preconceived notions of how sex should be. If you want to try edging with your partner, approach this like you would a sexy exploration game. The theme: ‘experience pleasure.’

Live with joy and passion,

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