Have you ever watched porn with your partner only to see the totally unrealistic amount of liquid pour from a woman while she orgasms? What if I told you it’s not all that unrealistic and it could happen to you too?
Ha. I bet you’re listening now.
Believe it or not, you may have already experienced something similar and just didn’t realize it. If you’ve ever noticed milky white fluid cleaning up after sex, you’ve probably ejaculated! Although, this is slightly different than the fluid that floods out of the orgasming woman in every porno.
Don’t You Need A Penis to Ejaculate?
Wait! Are you crazy? How can I ejaculate without a penis? Is that even possible?
Yes, my friend. It’s very possible.
For women, ejaculation comes from the urethra. This is the same place you pee from, but the liquid that is emitted during sex isn’t pee. The chemical compound of feminine ejaculate is similar to the compound of male ejaculate. (Obviously, sperm is one difference between the two.)
The Skene's glands are known as the female prostate—and if you didn’t read about how much fun a prostate can be, you should—and produce the liquid ejaculate. These glands are located on the vaginal wall and emit the liquid through the urethra.
Some women say ejaculating feels like any other orgasm. Others describe the experience as more pleasurable, like the feel of the warm liquid, and report tingling in their inner thighs.
Because doctors and scientists assumed women who reported liquid from their urethra during sex were experiencing bladder leaks(coital incontinence), it’s impossible to know how many women actually experience this. But some articles show more than 50%.
The bottom line is nothing’s wrong—other than the medical community’s lack of willingness to take women’s experiences at face value—this is a normal and natural experience.
Just keep having good sex!
Squirting Versus Female Ejaculation
“But the woman in the porn gushes! What you described above doesn’t sound like gushing!”
You’re right. Ejaculation is different from “squirting” although people sometimes use the same word to describe both. In fairness, they both come from the urethra, both contain urine, and neither looks like urine, so they have a lot in common.
However, where female ejaculation contains fluid from the Skene’s glands, squirting doesn’t. Squirting could best be described as colorless urine released during an orgasm, and squirting can be a lot of liquid! This is what you see when you’re watching porn.
If you’ve never experienced this, it doesn’t mean you won’t. It may be you just haven’t found your “trigger”—the touch that really sets you off—yet. And if you have or do experience this, again it’s normal!
But What If I Actually Pee During Sex?
Ahh—coital incontinence. Of all the flowing fluids we’ve talked about today this is the only one that might be a problem. Coital Incontinence—or the involuntary release of urine during sex—is both underreported and common. Since we know too many women find it embarrassing to talk about and won’t report, it’s probably even more common than we think.
This is common enough that if you’re experiencing it you really shouldn’t be embarrassed about it. Exactly what causes it is unknown but sometimes strengthening the pelvic floor can help.
A lot of women find after surgery, they never have this problem again. Even if you don’t want to jump to surgery—and I’m not sure I’d just jump to surgery either—it’s still worth talking to your doctor about. Coital Incontinence can be a sign of “stress incontinence.”
If you’re not able to find a good solution after talking with your doctor, other things that might help are physical therapy for your pelvic floor or coaching. After all, most of life is 90% mental!
Do Ejaculation & “Squirting Orgasm” Really Matter?
Unless experiencing ejaculation or a squirting orgasm is a bucket list item for you, it doesn’t really matter. There isn’t clear evidence that ejaculating or squirting improves the orgasm. It could just be that people are different and respond to orgasming in different ways.
If this is a sexual experience you really want for yourself, or you believe it will improve your sex life, go for it! It’s really going to be a matter of finding what the magic spot is—for you—and riding out that wave! Hint, hint—g-spot stimulation might contribute to ejaculation, squirting, or both, so there’s something to try. Just don’t become so obsessed with your liquid release that sex with your partner—or yourself, whatever you’re into—becomes a chore rather than pleasure.
If you ejaculate or squirt, nothing is wrong. It’s a normal sexual experience, but not experiencing these things doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong.
If you’re struggling to improve your orgasm, let’s schedule a call . I want you to enjoy life and sex. I want to help you!
